Friday, January 2

a day that i didnt want to be - written circa 2003

... We have come together and connect so much more now -
we laugh and have become less afraid of each other.
! wow we've come a long way.
Spiritually I think Ive stopped growing. I have stopped being a child of God, I think... I have stopped feeling the spirit touch me like it did, I miss it.

Stolen from me and made into tears
the heavens pour it on me to shame me
Before my friends and peers.
My eyes tire from seeing
awake for so long
mindlessly active unconsciously moving..
Birds call in the night
Unrespectfully watch the moon hang ominously
pay no attention to its ethereal beauty,
In a liquid pink sky and wet blue clouds;
I smiled when I saw the grey sky roll over the cool morning
but no smile could brighten my day today.
(so it dragged on without joy).

Sometimes, its so hard to smile.

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cheers